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An ailing Irrfan Khan THANKS his fans for his Best Actor win at IIFA

Comments  Comments [ 1 ]    By Preksha Jain | 26 June 2018 | 1:30pm





Bollywood actor Irrfan Khan who has been diagnosed with NeuroEndocrine Tumour is undergoing treatment for the same in London. After much speculation about his health issues, Khan in March publicly announced that he is suffering from a rare disease.

Now, at the recently held IIFA awards in Bangkok, Thailand, the actor bagged the best actor award for his performance in Hindi Medium. Thanking his fans for the same, Irrfan Khan tweeted, "Thank you to @IIFA and our audience who have been part for my journey #IIFA2018"

https://twitter.com/irrfank/status/1011456299647885312

Sharing his heart-wrenching story about Battling cancer, Khan recently shared with TOI, "Uncertainty is the only certainty', observes Irrfan, as he gives us a glimpse into his ongoing journey - from the shock of the diagnosis to the calmness of the realisation that 'the cork doesn't need to control the current it's floating in'

It's been quite some time now since I have been diagnosed with a high-grade neuroendocrine cancer. This new name in my vocabulary, I got to know, was rare, and due to fewer study cases, and less information comparatively, the unpredictability of the treatment was more. I was part of a trial-and-error game.

I had been in a different game, I was travelling on a speedy train ride, had dreams, plans, aspirations, goals, was fully engaged in them. And suddenly someone taps on my shoulder and I turn to see. It's the TC: "Your destination is about to come. Please get down." I am confused: "No, no. My destination hasn't come." "No, this is it. This is how it is sometimes."

The suddenness made me realise how you are just a cork floating in the ocean with UNPREDICTABLE currents! And you are desperately trying to control it.

In this chaos, shocked, afraid and in panic, while on one of the terrifying hospital visits, I blabber to my son, "The only thing I expect from ME is not to face this crisis in this present state. I desperately need my feet. Fear and panic should not overrule me and make me miserable."

That was my INTENTION. AND THEN PAIN HIT. As if all this while, you were just getting to know pain, and now you know his nature and his intensity. Nothing was working; NO consolation, no motivation. The entire cosmos becomes one at that moment - just PAIN, and pain felt more enormous than GOD.

As I was entering the hospital, drained, exhausted, listless, I hardly realised my hospital was on the opposite side of Lord's, the stadium. The Mecca of my childhood dream. Amidst the pain, I saw a poster of a smiling Vivian Richards. Nothing happened, as if that world didn't ever belong to me.

This hospital also had a coma ward right above me. Once, while standing on the balcony of my hospital room, the peculiarity jolted me. Between the game of life and the game of death, there is just a road. On one side, a hospital, on the other, a stadium. As if one isn't part of anything which might claim certainty - neither the hospital, nor the stadium. That hit me hard.

I was left with this immense effect of the enormous power and intelligence of the cosmos. The peculiarity of MY hospital's location - it HIT me. The only thing certain was the uncertainty. All I could do was to realise my strength and play my game better.

This realisation made me submit, surrender and trust, irrespective of the outcome, irrespective of where this takes me, eight months from now, or four months from now, or two years. The concerns took a back seat and started to fade and kind of went out of my mindspace.

For the first time, I felt what 'freedom' truly means. It felt like an accomplishment. As if I was tasting life for the first time, the magical side of it. My confidence in the intelligence of the cosmos became absolute. I feel as if it has entered every cell of mine.

Time will tell if it stays, but that is how I feel as of now".

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